Anonymous asked: Any chance you'll be stopping by olympia, wa anytime soon?
Not unless you’re signing me to Kill Rock Stars I’m afraid.
Anonymous asked: I have tried the online dating thing. I seem to only attract bed buddies as a 5'9 380lb female. Not that I don't appreciate the appreciation, I'm just over it. How do I more quickly weed out the hoe hoppers from the men that can have a conversation that doesn't solely consist of "show me your tits" ? I understand the obvious solution is to loose weight to appeal to a larger group, but to put it simply, I like me.
I’m glad you like you! The biggest thing you have to understand is that guys aren’t going to recuse themselves, so you’ll have to trust your own instincts, and question them in a way that isn’t so pointed it will scare them off but will still get you the information you need.
Also, when you do tip your hand, why not be frank? When they say something sexual out of nowhere, just say, “I’ve gotten really bored with NSA sex lately so it’s not really enjoyable for me to talk about that kind of stuff until I’ve established that you’re not going to ghost on me and that you’re interested in things about me besides my body. Can we have the conversation about you liking my tits three or four dates from now? I won’t be offended if you want to cut out, but please be honest with me (and yourself!) so we don’t waste each other’s time.” Something like that, shorter, more to the point and in your own voice. And hold him to it.
Obviously this is only for the guys worth responding to at all. Don’t bother if you don’t see there being a chance of them being what you actually want.
Anonymous asked: Hello Dan, Would you be available for a live ten minute telephone radio interview tonight at 6:35pm PT (9:35pm ET) on Talk 910am San Francisco with Gil Gross to discuss your article regarding what Louie got wrong about fat girls? It would be just yourself and Gil without opposing views or questions from listeners and a cell phone would be fine. Many thanks.
I’m available, not sure my stomach is.
GUEST POST: A RESPONSE TO MY DEADSPIN PIECE ON LOUIE
It was like he handed me an alien object, like some oddly shaped component of a machine that I had no context for. I looked down at it as if I didn’t know what it was for a moment, and then suddenly remembered that often when one member of the human species wishes to show affection for the other, they would like to demonstrate publicly that they don’t mind being seen as associated through the touching of hands. I just started seeing this guy, and it wasn’t until he grabbed my hand on a short walk to the corner store and it shocked me that I realized how jaded I had become about trying to date as a fat chick.
So when Vanessa says to Louie, “Have you ever held hands with a fat girl? Have you ever walked down the street in the light of day, holding hands, with a big girl like me?” it reached in to my insides, grabbed a big handful, twisted and pulled.
I know a lot of people are disappointed that this episode didn’t get more right, but frankly all it seemed to do was hold up a mirror to a world that for me almost never gets it right, a world still expects me to to bear the shame of men who want to date me and are scared that someone might laugh at them for it. If there are as Dan says, plenty of men who would disagree, generally speaking, I don’t know them. Vanessa doesn’t either, and her experience is not everyone’s but it is mine and no less a part of the big mosaic of experiences of dating while fat.
I do ever hope that holding my hand and other displays of public affection and acceptance become the new normal for me. But until then I appreciate Louie for showing some piece of the breadth of experience we have as fat chicks, and that sometimes it is equal parts wonderful and remarkable when a guy holds on and doesn’t let go.
I WROTE ABOUT THAT EPISODE OF LOUIE
For my first Deadspin piece I wrote about Louis C.K. and fat porn and not being able to score a hotel room for the Vegas BBW bash.
Anonymous asked: Any advice for a girl 0% confident in person - but 100% confident on cam?
have we dated
Anonymous asked: Is it a turn off when you can tell a girl you're with is self conscious?
There’s really no escaping normal human insecurities, unfortunately.
Anonymous asked: I'm only 16 and I weigh about 220, obesity runs in my family. I am working on losing weight, I just started this week. I decided that it was time to stop making excuses and just work for what I want. I like this guy and he is quite tall, average weight. I don't want to wait a year to talk to him because I'll be slimmer then. How can I talk to him now and make him like me despite my weight? We talk sometimes, small convos, and he laughs at my jokes in class sometimes too.
What if he likes fat girls? I really can’t help you because I’ve never talked to anyone “despite their weight” before.