I wish this blog was updated more often. I wish people would come up with a bunch of new and interesting questions to ask you. I wish the magiclistofguys contained more guys in my area. And I really wish you'd get rid of those X's. Please.
Awwwwwwwww, auuuuuuuuuuuuuugh, I’ve been super busy the last few weeks. Ton of crazy shit happening right now. My inbox is actually stuffed with really good questions that I haven’t been able to give the time they deserve—for the first time in this blog’s history I’ve got saved drafts filed on my hard drive. Updates may or may not be sporadic through April, but I absolutely promise when I get settled in this Spring I’ll be going back to my wiseass frequent-answering, no-life-having self that y’all loves so much.
And I proooomise to do something about the ugly Xs once I figure out a better way to deal with this ALMOST PERFECT layout’s awful inability to stick in line breaks.
For the girl who was asking about birth control options, she should ask her doctor about progesterone only pill options. I go to Planned Parenthood for my pill, and usually get a "lose weight" suggestion, but they still prescribe me progesterone only. The only catch is that I have to take it at the same time every single day, the regular dual hormone pill allows some fudging on time, progesterone only has no room for error. There is also no "placebo week", it's continuous hormone.
Thanks! I was hoping someone more knowledgeable than me would grab that one.
Just adding my two cents, but I find it so amusing that guys who like fat chicks bitching about cellulite and wantnot when the majority of women have it in some form. My size 6 best friend has more cellulite on her ass and thighs than I do on mine and I'm a size 16! The grass is always greener, I suppose.
Behold the impossible standards of a male-dominated society intended to oppress women.
I've read a lot of guys in forums complain about things like stretch marks, discoloration on the inner thighs, and cellulite on fat women. What, if any, are your thoughts on that? I feel like it kind of comes with the territory and for the most part, very few fat women don't have those things and you can't really cherry-pick that way. They go hand in hand. I don't know, it just bugs me.
You’re not alone in your disgust. Mostly because half these dudes really do suck it up and don’t have a problem, but spew that gynophobic bullshit under the anonymity of webforums. Then girls read it and get insecure. Pay no mind to it. It’s the dudes’ way of distancing themselves from (not actually) having to defend the peculiarities that come with the preference they’re ashamed of. They think by establishing a line in the sand that they’re only in it for the ass and titties and bellies that they’re still down with the non-FAs they so badly wish they were because they mock the blemishes that sometimes come with it on the side. Dudes trying to meet each other halfway by trashing women’s bodies is pathetic, and even more so when there’s no reason to believe they have much experience with the female anatomy in the first place.
I am so sick and effing tired of people telling fat girls that our “confidence” is sexy. You wanna know what’s fucking sexy? MY ASS! Wanna know what else is sexy? MY THIGHS! How about this, MY FUCKING BELLY! It’s sexy that I can take your fist in 30 seconds. It’s sexy that you can hold handfuls of me at a time. It’s sexy that my skin raises up in welts that suit my roundness when you smack me.
People’s heads whip when I walk down the street, and it’s not my confidence that they’re thinking about fucking. It’s my body.
Don’t tell me that I’m hot because I’m comfortable in my skin. Don’t tell me that I’m hot because I have a pretty face. Don’t tell me that I’m hot because I’ve done so much work to love myself. It’s a cop-out.
Confidence is sexy.
But so is a nice rack.
I've been reading through these questions and I've noticed some people referring to a fat person's "health." This is totally crazy. When I became Anorexic people congratulated/complimented me for getting the weight off. People don't truly CARE about how you lose the weight to attain this image of "healthy living." They want it off because being fat is almost taboo. Has absolutely nothing to do with someone's health, and everything to do with society and its piss poor standards of beauty.
I mean, many people care. But yes, many don’t and hide behind “health” as a justification to give fatties all the unwanted “advice” they can eat.
my boyfriend is a short skinny FA too (he actually looks kinda like you). I used to worry that we looked silly next to each other (I'm only a 14 but still pretty self conscious and about twice as wide as him). but fuck that shit! thanks to you i've realized that we're just really badass and awesome together.
Ridiculous. Do you think football players get self-conscious about the tiny cheerleader they are railing? Own that shit, bang that stick.
Is it understandable to be skeptical when a guy hits on me? I've seen too many of my friends (with bodies like mine) be taken advantage of because some guys pick out big girls as easy targets due to low self esteem.
Of course! Guard yourself but at the same time, take the chances. Worst case scenario he’s a jerk but you should really take the risk and find out if he’s hot for you. If he’s not it’ll help you toughen up in the process and develop your flirting skills at least. As long as you don’t lead yourself to believe that a total stranger if going to wife you up in one weekend you’re fine.
I'm engaged to a great guy but one problem is that he doesn't compliment me on my looks unless it's sexual... I think I'm not really good looking but I mean, he should think so, right? I've told him I would like him to compliment me but he just gets mad... any advice? should I just get more confident in myself and act like I'm the sh!t and hope it rubs off on him? sorry this is long!
Long compared to your engagement maybe! I sincerely hope he’s getting mad because you’re nagging him rather than because he’s a huge asshole. This is tough territory to navigate; he’s peeved to have one of his shortcoming as a partner pointed out, but you’re embarrassed to have to ask for it. But his problem doesn’t hold water; if he wanted it to go away (not to mention to please his fiancee!), he’d have started slipping in a few sweet nothings by now.
I’m not sure what good a sit-down would do in terms of being reciprocated like you wish, but at the very least you have to have a serious conversation with him where you let him know that he’s perfectly capable of praising you in a sexual capacity—so why not when he’s dick’s soft too? Tell him that you know he doesn’t intend to hurt your feelings but it makes you feel used and like he only has you around for one thing. Be gentle about it and try to get the point across that it’s far too early in your relationship to have to ask for this kind of affection and you’re worried for your pending marriage about feeling even more neglected.
You should definitely get more confident in yourself no matter what, possibly confident enough to question his greatness and wonder if you couldn’t find greater?
Where did you find the courage to come out of the, "I like fat chicks"closet? How did your friends and family react to it? Were there any obvious changes in the behavior from the people you surround yourself with?
Covered the introductory stuff in my Hairpin pieces from a year ago, which I haven’t shilled in a minute. The only obvious change is now when someone makes a fat joke they sometimes quickly go “sorry!” Even though they know I’m pretty cool with fat jokes; it’s hard to offend me in general. If someone was visibly treating a fat person or my girlfriend or one of my fat friends like shit that would be different. Only one friend of a friend reacted like an all-out dickhead, and it was a pretty quick incident.