is this about the gay thing? it might not be but i’ve taken some heat so maybe i should address that.
some male FAs feel a kinship to gay men because they couldn’t understand why we didn’t like the same sex symbols as the other boys growing up, or because we were called faggots, or because there’s no other precedent we have for explaining the notion to outsiders that the partners that turn you on. that what feels romantically and emotionally attractive to you makes others sick, or makes them laugh, or makes them demand an explanation to probe your glitch.
this comparison has gotten me into trouble with gay and straight people who argue i don’t face being put to death or having my love denied by legislature. this is true, but not as true as you’d think. you can’t compare one group’s struggles to another. they’re just different. that’s why the FA/gay comparison isn’t absolute. but it’s honest; we use terminology like “closeted,” “bisizual,” etc. it’s goofy and it’s the way it is. if that offends you too much, you might be hateful yourself.
my girlfriend was threatened in grade school, summer camp and high school. one of my other fat friends answered, “if throwing a bottle at my head from a movie car while screaming ‘fat fucking cow’ counts, then yes.” some other horrifying accounts:
"about a year or so ago me and my fat friends were driving to a bash. i noticed a car following a little to closely, then they pulled around next me me and were holding a subway wrapper against their window as they tried to push me off the road while flipping me the finger and screaming obscenities from their windows, I slowed down and looked for the nearest exit, but it was another 4 miles to the service plaza. i tried going faster, slower, anything to get away. at one point the jeep pulled front of my van and tried stop dead in the highway. i was lucky enough to pull around them before we wrecked.”
"in elementary school, some older bully and his younger brother were in the park i had to walk through to get home. after i passed, i felt something cold on my neck. one of them told the one who held the knife to just let me go and i hauled ass home. my mom called the school, who had the cops come out to scare the kids. they told them it was a fake knife, but who knows.”
"i had things thrown at me while waiting for the bus. i knew it was at me because they would oink and make other noises as they went by…and miss the other people standing nearby. once i was at a bar in my hometown and walking to my friend’s car for my lighter. a bunch of guys jumped out of the back of a pickup and chased me around until i tripped, they had a crowbar and a bat. they were saying things like “work that fat ass off, whore!” and “i felt the earth quake when you ran, you fucking fat cunt…” and also “i bet your pussy smells like rotten hamburgers you nasty bitch. i won’t rape you…but I will kill you.” i got out safe because someone came out of the bar for a smoke and saw them, threatened to call the cops, started towards them and saved my life. in my small town i filed a report with the incident in the parking lot of the bar—nothing happened. in colorado i tried to get license plate numbers—nothing happened. now I carry pepper spray and don’t go outside, anywhere, alone.”
thanks to e, k, c + h for sharing this horrible shit. singling out fat people for threats and violence is real. it’s not “just teasing”.