the very hungry caterpillar is way cuter than that bullshit butterfly

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gra-alainn asked: In your article that first published like awhile ago there were questions that were asked and you answered them. I was wondering if you could explain what you meant by this one. "Dear Askaguywholikesfatchicks: Is this because you think you can’t do any better? —BBB Yes, but not in the way you’re thinking."

I always kind of wondered if that one was misinterpreted. I can’t do any better than fat girls because fat girls are the best to me. It wasn’t my cleverest. And I’ve since come to appreciate smaller girls as well.

I WROTE ABOUT HOLE’S “ASKING FOR IT”

I am absolutely fucking honored to have been invited by Jill Mapes to  write about the song “Asking for It” for Flavorwire's celebration of the 20th anniversary of Hole's Live Through This, one of my favorite albums of all time, and humbled to be in the company of some of my favorite writers and MUSICIANS: Julianne Escobedo Shepherd, Maura Johnston, Daphne Carr, Lindsay Zoladz, Judy Berman, Tyler Coates Tom Hawking, Mish from White Lung, Bree from Tacocat and Julia from The Coathangers.

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Anonymous asked: hey, has anyone else had the problem of asking this blog questions anonymously (or so you THOUGHT), and having your name posted anyway? i swear that's happened to me twice with this blog but never with any other blog. conspiracy?? I'm going to check anon on this ask and see what happens...

This is my bad: a couple months ago I briefly installed a de-anonymizer script because I think it’s the best idea in the world…until I realized that makes sense for every blog except mine. A couple questions went through that were accidentally de-anon’d before I got the script fully removed. Lately a couple people have sent in questions that were apparently supposed to be anonymous, but as you can see from this test post, I don’t think that issue is on my end anymore. Apologies to anyone who this affected, though I don’t remember any particularly damning or personal ones that went through during that brief experiment where I actually published.

For people who don’t write advice blogs on Tumblr though, which is most of you, I definitely recommend getting some code that tricks your asks into thinking they’re anon. And many of you don’t need the option to allow anon asks at all. With my blog it’s pretty essential though, and I realized this immediately.

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lustydovakiin asked: Can you promote this chunky girls blog?I'm a huge fan!

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sad-stupid-shy asked: "This is the most bingo thing ever!" haha! that's perfect! I found that phrase extremely attractive. I totally support your blog and cause! You're doing an amazing job and I find it awesome how open you are to sharing your opinions. Keep up the great work! :))

awwwwwwwww bb <3

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jesuslovinfatchick asked: I really need a man, but I don't want to meet one online. It's way too awkward. I've had awful experiences. How can I tell if a guy is into fat girls? Is there a special pheromone men put off if they are into fat women? A tattoo? Does the pitch of your voice deepen? Seriously though...

jesuslovinfatchick:

askaguywholikesfatchicks:

Until it becomes society-acceptable enough that a girl over 300 pounds can get hit on by a stranger in public and not at all worry that she’s being pranked by a frat asshole, the fat dating axis has mostly relied on the internet. What was specific to the internet about why your experiences were awful?

Any guy I’ve ever met onlne has assumed that I’m (for lack of more sophisticated terms) “DTF” on the first date or as soon as they ask me out for drinks. I’m absolutely not. Especially not after just meeting somebody. It’s absolute disrespect.

Besides that, I find it cold and impersonal and overall awkward. I’d rather not if there was an alternative…but it doesn’t sound like there is.image

Also, wtf, I thought this was an anonymous ask? poop.

There is actually a simple way to help cut down this problem:

Do what you normally do, hit it off, flirt and make plans with the guy, if you like him. Then as your date is approaching (but not sooner), tell him you are absolutely not DTF and ask him if he still wants to go through with the date. You’ll have some cancellations. But the importance of waiting until the date is in stone is that you should still select guys you’re into, who can commit to meeting you in person. That is, ones who can at least make themselves look respectable enough to pass the screening, who might actually be into you enough to respect your non-DTFness and still wait.

Many people put a disclaimer in the very first conversation and this scares people off before reeling them in, not just because you won’t put out. Just because you’re laying down rules before there’s even a date, and the list of reasons someone would pick you is still too short and undeveloped for even someone open to a non-DTF person to latch onto.

But you should also put at the top and bottom (yes, repeat it) of your dating profiles that you are absolutely not DTF (don’t even list a reason as you have no need to justify this to strangers) and to not message you unless that is okay. You could even require for responders to include “I’m okay with you not being DTF” in their message to you as an acknowledgment to get it out of the way that there will be no misunderstanding, and it won’t have to come up again as you get to know each other and make plans. If someone correctly follows that protocol, respond with something like “I appreciate you acknowledging my profile” and then commence flirtation.

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Anonymous asked: I really want to do a strip tease for my fiancé, but I don't know of any upbeat, and not standard, songs to dance to. Any suggestions?

Off the top of my head: Elle Varner’s "Sound Proof Room," Miranda Lambert’s "Gunpowder & Lead," Sleigh Bells’ "You Don’t Get Me Twice," Garbage’s "Push It."

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Anonymous asked: I'm about to start a friends with benefits situation with this guy who's into big chicks like me...how should I mentally and physically prepare for this? I've never been with someone who's liked me because of my size

Just do your best to enjoy it! Give him a strict no when something really makes you feel bad or uncomfortable but otherwise try to be open-minded about the new and different experience you’re going to have. Do your best to erase doubts, not overthink, keep in mind that he has already communicated his physical interest so you don’t need to be on guard that he’s going to change his mind when he sees you have fat in a place you don’t usually show guys you have fat. Be cautious about the normal stuff and your boundaries but let yourself enjoy the agreement you two have come to, which involves you experiencing a different kind of attention to your body than you’re used to. Only do or let him do as much as you’re comfortable, and don’t forget you can always leave the possibility open to hold off on something now and try more in the future with added trust.

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jesuslovinfatchick asked: I really need a man, but I don't want to meet one online. It's way too awkward. I've had awful experiences. How can I tell if a guy is into fat girls? Is there a special pheromone men put off if they are into fat women? A tattoo? Does the pitch of your voice deepen? Seriously though...

Until it becomes society-acceptable enough that a girl over 300 pounds can get hit on by a stranger in public and not at all worry that she’s being pranked by a frat asshole, the fat dating axis has mostly relied on the internet. What was specific to the internet about why your experiences were awful?